These days....

I know I just wrote a blog post, but its been so long and I've missed it so much I just couldn't restrain myself from writing another.

These days ---

*I'm living in Norman (which for all of you OSU students and grads, isn't as bad as it sounds!)
-I'm enjoying living with my family (my Granny, cousin Alesha, and precious little Addee Marie. I have plenty of stories, that's for sure!), having a backyard, having a park directly behind my backyard, not paying bills, and lots of sunshine.
-A few things I am not enjoying so much are job searching, transition time, and trying to decide what to do after the summer (and all of the OU fans - though they've proved to be nice thus far).
- Something I am very much looking forward to is a much needed vacation in Mexico, starting on SATURDAY! I am very much looking forward to some uninhibited time with the Lord, relaxing, and enjoying his creation. Que bueno! Ay!

*I'm transitioning.
-This includes leaving lots of old and familiar from Stillwater and coming to a new place with lots of unknowns. I'll be starting from scratch again. On the list of things to do are: finding a job, finding a Church, and finding friends. No big deal, right? HA.

*I'm in love!
-Who knew this day would come? Ha. Definitely not I. I am so in love with a man who is so far beyond anything I ever imagined or dared to ask for. I have been so blessed with such a precious gift who constantly evidences the love of God to me. Ah-mazing!

*I've taken up gardening.
-Okay, I've only planted one window planter with three plants in it, but still - this is a huge deal in my life. Who knew? I'm loving it thus far and my plants are still alive after four days!!!!!

Hm, that's all the bullet points I can come up with for now.... but I hope it's not as long between now and our next meeting! Thanks for keeping up with my life!

Waiting doesn't get easier as you go....

Thoughts of wedding gowns, venues, married life, engagement rings, and oh so many other wedding related thoughts have been filling my mind these days. As a single girl I thought waiting for the love of my life to come around was difficult. As a girl who is in love with him, waiting for that blissful day to come is so much more difficult.

I cannot express to you the longing I have to be his and for him to be mine. The longing grows with each day that passes.

Our longing for the coming of the Lord should be the same way. Each day that passes should grow our love for Him and our desire to be His for all eternity. Each day should contain a growing of affection for Him that deteriorates our affection for even the most precious worldly things.

I praise God for the gift of a man whom I am so in love with, but I praise Him more for the love of the One who will never fade or pass away. All the sweet gifts here and now are only a small taste of the divine richness of who He is.

I understand more what Romans 8:22-25 is talking about.

May we long for our precious Savior more than all else in this world and may we patiently wait with hope for that day when He returns.

I keep coming back to this song....

I first fell in love with song in East Asia when the trip was hard. God just kept revealing that the ups and downs of following Him were worth it. I'm thinking about it a lot now too. It's all worth it. So worth it. What an amazing King we serve who is worth sustaining and sacrificing all things for.

Kendall Payne
Ups and Downs

All that I've found through the ups and downs
Is that I'd have it no other way
Life in the raw is both fragile and strong
It's both lovely and ugly the same

Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside

So let it go, for we are still far from home
Though you try and try to escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe

We are composed of a symphony of notes
Every life is as music to His ears
I'll play my melody be it haunting be it sweet
Unashamed of what anyone might hear

So when the load breaks your back and your will
You must still keep your heart in the game
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe

So let it go, when it don't feel like home
When inside is your only escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
Would you want it any other way?

It's been a long, long time....

I really don't know what to write about, but I just felt like I should post something.

I sure don't want you faithful readers to be disappointed though if I post something with no substance, so I must think of something good.

I've got nothing of substance. Honestly.

I could tell you about my dreams last night, or how I'm teaching a class as we speak, or about what I had for lunch (Yarpa dolma!!!!) - but none of those things are really exciting unless you know how fabulous yarpa dolma is.

Sorry guys. You're just out of luck.

It's true...

Lately, I have really been moved by undeserved kindness. It's just incredible the love that God has poured out for us through sending His Son to the Cross to die for our sins. It's also incredible to watch the outpouring of that through the people around me.

I am amazed when I live real, mucky, true, grungy, and honest life-on-life with people. They see my sin and they still choose to love me. I'm not sure if there is a better depiction of the unconditional love of God and of grace and mercy than this. This semester has been definitely been one of "real" life. It's been a semester of the yuck just oozing out of me, but in that process I have seen more the beauty of the Cross and the beauty of Him displayed through those around me who keep on loving, assuring, comforting, forgiving, and walking with me through it. Thank you to so many this semester and throughout my entire life who have shown me the love of Christ in the way you interact with me.

I have been moved by the small things people do to show me their love and concern. The selflessness that has been displayed when I am upset, the laying down of their lives to consider mine, and the minute acts of kindness they do to display their love for me (they can because of Jesus's love for them). On a daily basis I am preached the Gospel through the actions and kindness of those who surround me.

I am undeserving. I am a filthy, adulterous, loathsome, and despicable beggar. I am a created being who spurns my Creator daily. I spit in the face of the One who shows ultimate kindness to me. I run away, I cheat on Him with other lovers, and I choose lesser loves so easily. And most of the time, I don't even consider how my actions sting Him.

Yet, despite all of this He shows me incredible kindness. I am so moved by the kindness of my King and how He keeps giving me good things I don't deserve and not giving me the terrible things I deserve. Thank you to those of you who have been evidences of this in my life. You have moved me to greater worship of our Creator and I couldn't be more thankful for you.