From our first Valentine's Day til death do us part - I will always love you.
14.2.12
Dear Sean,
My beloved husband, we have been married almost two years now (can you believe it?) and though it has been far from easy, I can say with every ounce of my being and full confidence that I am thankful the Lord brought us together. You make me a better woman. I have never seen my sin more clearly or had to focus on the Gospel more steadily than when I am with you. In moments that the overwhelming view of my sin threatens to engulf and drown me completely you are always by my side to pull me up out of those murky waters and saturate me instead with the pure and refreshing water of the Gospel. I have never seen the Gospel so living and breathing as I do when I look upon you. You breathe life into all of the things I read about our Savior. When I believe I am unlovable because of the myriad of ways I have scorned and hurt you, you gently reach down, engulf me in your arms, and show me nothing but unexplainable and undeserved love. You reach down into my sin and into the most broken and insecure parts of who I am, lift them up into the light to inspect them fully, and when you place them back I am an improved human being because you have accepted and then saturated them with Truth. Every offense that could be heinous and vile - I have committed against you - and yet, though I will never understand why, you continue to shower me with love and grace. I don't deserve such love, but it seems the less deserving I am the more abundantly you offer it. Thank you for showing me the love that Jesus has for us both in ways that no one ever has for me before. I pray that I would be able to love you and others with the same love you have bestowed upon me. I am beyond blessed to be your beloved and betrothed. Happy Valentine's Day.
From our first Valentine's Day til death do us part - I will always love you.
From our first Valentine's Day til death do us part - I will always love you.
19.12.10
Old is gone, new is come
So, I have to admit I haven't been doing my challenge for a few days because I have been discouraged by the darkness and deceitfulness of my heart. I would fight to not be negative and find myself doing so anyway. But, the truth is that the old is gone and the new has come. That is not who I am in Christ. I am so thankful for a God who shows me this over and over. I will resume the challenge tomorrow.
14.12.10
Oops, missed a day posting
Sorry I missed a day posting (though I have no idea who I am apologizing to because I know no one reads this blog) I was busy with work stuff yesterday. I had my first modeling go see. Anyway, thoughts on day 3.
Beginning thoughts: Day 3 was REALLY hard. I really struggled with not being negative. I'm sure the lack of sleep and grouchiness that my once a month joy brings along were much to blame - but regardless of where the blame lies (in my sin, always) - it was hard. I struggled a lot with it. I struggled with being apathetic toward the challenge and allowed myself some "gray" area. Things that weren't exactly negative. But as day four points out (and I had already realized) just because something isn't negative doesn't mean it is edifying. So much of my interaction with Sean is in the "gray" area. I'm praying for help from God to only use edifying speech. I need to be more edifying in what I say and less "gray".
Day 4 (yesterday) and 5 (today):
Day Four:
"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28
We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have
you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others
about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.
Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways.
Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and
encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values
and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take
opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.
If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more
creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part
of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind,
organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.
Day Five:
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29
Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is
by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only
discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.
Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is
especially important to other family members.
Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother
know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of
praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you
respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and
weaknesses he may have.
(I am good at not saying negative things about Sean to others, Praise God. That is something we instilled in the dating phase - but I do need to work on intentionally saying good things to family and such about him. I will make sure to do that as the holidays approach, Lord willing)
Beginning thoughts: Day 3 was REALLY hard. I really struggled with not being negative. I'm sure the lack of sleep and grouchiness that my once a month joy brings along were much to blame - but regardless of where the blame lies (in my sin, always) - it was hard. I struggled a lot with it. I struggled with being apathetic toward the challenge and allowed myself some "gray" area. Things that weren't exactly negative. But as day four points out (and I had already realized) just because something isn't negative doesn't mean it is edifying. So much of my interaction with Sean is in the "gray" area. I'm praying for help from God to only use edifying speech. I need to be more edifying in what I say and less "gray".
Day 4 (yesterday) and 5 (today):
Day Four:
"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28
We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have
you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others
about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.
Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways.
Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and
encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values
and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take
opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.
If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more
creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part
of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind,
organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.
Day Five:
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29
Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is
by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only
discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.
Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is
especially important to other family members.
Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother
know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of
praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you
respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and
weaknesses he may have.
(I am good at not saying negative things about Sean to others, Praise God. That is something we instilled in the dating phase - but I do need to work on intentionally saying good things to family and such about him. I will make sure to do that as the holidays approach, Lord willing)
12.12.10
Dia Tres
Beginning Thoughts: Yesterday was much easier than the first day. God was just so faithful in helping me. I am so thankful for that. This is a verse I have been trying to meditate on:
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment. Ephesians 4:29
It is not only about not saying negative things - it is also about only saying positive things. I found myself yesterday making "in between" comments. Comments that weren't necessarily negative, but that weren't edifying either. I shall work on that.
It's amazing how a change in me sparks a change in hubby also. Yesterday he apologized for speaking negatively to me (remember, he knows nothing of this challenge). I was so taken aback - I had no idea where that came from - but it was cool to see that.
He also has taken the compliments very well - really being so thankful for each encouragement. It's great! Thank God for what He is doing!
On to day 3!
Day 3:
"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge,
determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband.
Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank
him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to
be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had
role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help
without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone.
Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is
responding, and express your gratitude.
Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc.
Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.
Ways Sean is considerate: He is always there for me when I am upset. If I ever am having trouble sleeping he always offers to go to the couch and sleep there so I can fall asleep more easily. He will make dinner when I'm tired or just of his own initiative. He is always willing to help out with household things. (Along with many others). In general - he's the best!
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment. Ephesians 4:29
It is not only about not saying negative things - it is also about only saying positive things. I found myself yesterday making "in between" comments. Comments that weren't necessarily negative, but that weren't edifying either. I shall work on that.
It's amazing how a change in me sparks a change in hubby also. Yesterday he apologized for speaking negatively to me (remember, he knows nothing of this challenge). I was so taken aback - I had no idea where that came from - but it was cool to see that.
He also has taken the compliments very well - really being so thankful for each encouragement. It's great! Thank God for what He is doing!
On to day 3!
Day 3:
"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge,
determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband.
Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank
him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to
be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had
role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help
without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone.
Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is
responding, and express your gratitude.
Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc.
Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.
Ways Sean is considerate: He is always there for me when I am upset. If I ever am having trouble sleeping he always offers to go to the couch and sleep there so I can fall asleep more easily. He will make dinner when I'm tired or just of his own initiative. He is always willing to help out with household things. (Along with many others). In general - he's the best!
11.12.10
Whistle while you work
Day Two:
Beginning thoughts: Last night, after I wrote my post Sean and I had a fight. It was amazing how much faster the fight ended when I only had kind things to say.
Challenge: "...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your
husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say
something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up -
start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for
them.
Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help
around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget
allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't
think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
2
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go
first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his
willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great
strength.
Sean is a great servant - today should be easy. The encouragement part at least. To be continued.
Beginning thoughts: Last night, after I wrote my post Sean and I had a fight. It was amazing how much faster the fight ended when I only had kind things to say.
Challenge: "...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your
husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say
something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up -
start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for
them.
Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help
around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget
allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't
think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
2
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go
first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his
willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great
strength.
Sean is a great servant - today should be easy. The encouragement part at least. To be continued.
10.12.10
30 day challenge
So, I need to be more encouraging as a wife. I struggle with thinking negatively and speaking negatively to my husband. That's why I'm embarking on this challenge and documenting it here. Day One: Here we go.
The challenge:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband, or to anyone else.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else.
Day One:
Day One:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12
To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30
days:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone
else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your
husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above
all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though
many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that
you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest
of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How
do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a
"wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"
Thoughts on today: Today was hard. I don't think I really realized completely how negatively I spoke to Sean until I had to abstain from it. I mean, I knew I was negative but there is nothing like having to abstain from something to realize how often you do it. It was good to see a tiny change in heart though - because when you are intentional about thinking and doing positive things toward people - you can't help but see your attitude toward them change. He thanked me for telling him thank you for choosing me ... and though it is not about the thanks, that was nice. Anyway, it's late and I'm writing this covertly so he doesn't see me. So sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Until tomorrow. Much love.
Kelsey
The challenge:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband, or to anyone else.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband . . . and to someone else.
Day One:
Day One:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12
To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30
days:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone
else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your
husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above
all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though
many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that
you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest
of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How
do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a
"wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"
Thoughts on today: Today was hard. I don't think I really realized completely how negatively I spoke to Sean until I had to abstain from it. I mean, I knew I was negative but there is nothing like having to abstain from something to realize how often you do it. It was good to see a tiny change in heart though - because when you are intentional about thinking and doing positive things toward people - you can't help but see your attitude toward them change. He thanked me for telling him thank you for choosing me ... and though it is not about the thanks, that was nice. Anyway, it's late and I'm writing this covertly so he doesn't see me. So sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Until tomorrow. Much love.
Kelsey
16.7.10
2 reasons not to get an office pet
Fish # 1: Let me introduce you to Paco. He became a member of my office in September of 2009. He was a very smart red betta. He would follow my finger around. One day I was typing, looked over, and his tank was empty. He jumped out of his tank and was on the floor. I quickly put him back in his tank and surprisingly he survived. I was so happy my little Paco was such a trooper. The next day while I was on my lunch break Paco again escaped from his tank! This time though he wasn't so lucky because my husband was in quest of brownies under my desk. He stepped on poor Paco. It was the ordeal of the office with all of my coworkers in the room screaming and poor Paco trying to swim after being stepped on. My husband denied he'd stepped on Paco, but the blood and fish guts on his shoe was enough proof for me. I made him promise to buy me another fish.
Fish # 2: My sweet husband bought me a second gorgeous blue betta. When we first purchased him for about a week he wouldn't eat. I refused to name him because I didn't want to get attached if he was just going to die from not eating. On the day of our first month anniversary of marriage it was a joyous day (because of the wedding celebration) as well as the fact that my fish ate for the first time that day! I decided at this point to name him Nolan after Nolan Ryan, my favorite Texas Ranger pitcher. Nolan was an incredibly fast fish and this is why he earned this honorably name. Nolan and I bonded and became friends. This morning when I was lovingly cleaning his water little, poor Nolan swam .... right into the garbage disposal. After about a half hour of trying to rescue him, I finally deserted my poor fish to his demise.
The moral of the story either is: Don't get office pets.
Fish # 2: My sweet husband bought me a second gorgeous blue betta. When we first purchased him for about a week he wouldn't eat. I refused to name him because I didn't want to get attached if he was just going to die from not eating. On the day of our first month anniversary of marriage it was a joyous day (because of the wedding celebration) as well as the fact that my fish ate for the first time that day! I decided at this point to name him Nolan after Nolan Ryan, my favorite Texas Ranger pitcher. Nolan was an incredibly fast fish and this is why he earned this honorably name. Nolan and I bonded and became friends. This morning when I was lovingly cleaning his water little, poor Nolan swam .... right into the garbage disposal. After about a half hour of trying to rescue him, I finally deserted my poor fish to his demise.
The moral of the story either is: Don't get office pets.
8.11.09
7.10.09
Waiting does get easier as you go....
I've discovered waiting is quite a paradoxical thing. It gets both harder and easier as you go along. Each day I learn to be more content in the Lord and trust the goodness of His plans and His kindness each day. And yet again each day, the wait becomes harder and harder. I've been learning so much that contentment will not be found in the objects we think will satisfy us, but only God alone. We all say that we know this, but do we know it where it is really tested in the furnace of day to day life? I think this can only be accomplished by the grace of God, but I'm thankful He's teaching me. Father, please help me to know you the way I ought and build a foundation of theology that will sustain me when the hard and trying times of life hit. Please continue to sustain me now.
22.5.09
These days....
I know I just wrote a blog post, but its been so long and I've missed it so much I just couldn't restrain myself from writing another.
These days ---
*I'm living in Norman (which for all of you OSU students and grads, isn't as bad as it sounds!)
-I'm enjoying living with my family (my Granny, cousin Alesha, and precious little Addee Marie. I have plenty of stories, that's for sure!), having a backyard, having a park directly behind my backyard, not paying bills, and lots of sunshine.
-A few things I am not enjoying so much are job searching, transition time, and trying to decide what to do after the summer (and all of the OU fans - though they've proved to be nice thus far).
- Something I am very much looking forward to is a much needed vacation in Mexico, starting on SATURDAY! I am very much looking forward to some uninhibited time with the Lord, relaxing, and enjoying his creation. Que bueno! Ay!
*I'm transitioning.
-This includes leaving lots of old and familiar from Stillwater and coming to a new place with lots of unknowns. I'll be starting from scratch again. On the list of things to do are: finding a job, finding a Church, and finding friends. No big deal, right? HA.
*I'm in love!
-Who knew this day would come? Ha. Definitely not I. I am so in love with a man who is so far beyond anything I ever imagined or dared to ask for. I have been so blessed with such a precious gift who constantly evidences the love of God to me. Ah-mazing!
*I've taken up gardening.
-Okay, I've only planted one window planter with three plants in it, but still - this is a huge deal in my life. Who knew? I'm loving it thus far and my plants are still alive after four days!!!!!
Hm, that's all the bullet points I can come up with for now.... but I hope it's not as long between now and our next meeting! Thanks for keeping up with my life!
These days ---
*I'm living in Norman (which for all of you OSU students and grads, isn't as bad as it sounds!)
-I'm enjoying living with my family (my Granny, cousin Alesha, and precious little Addee Marie. I have plenty of stories, that's for sure!), having a backyard, having a park directly behind my backyard, not paying bills, and lots of sunshine.
-A few things I am not enjoying so much are job searching, transition time, and trying to decide what to do after the summer (and all of the OU fans - though they've proved to be nice thus far).
- Something I am very much looking forward to is a much needed vacation in Mexico, starting on SATURDAY! I am very much looking forward to some uninhibited time with the Lord, relaxing, and enjoying his creation. Que bueno! Ay!
*I'm transitioning.
-This includes leaving lots of old and familiar from Stillwater and coming to a new place with lots of unknowns. I'll be starting from scratch again. On the list of things to do are: finding a job, finding a Church, and finding friends. No big deal, right? HA.
*I'm in love!
-Who knew this day would come? Ha. Definitely not I. I am so in love with a man who is so far beyond anything I ever imagined or dared to ask for. I have been so blessed with such a precious gift who constantly evidences the love of God to me. Ah-mazing!
*I've taken up gardening.
-Okay, I've only planted one window planter with three plants in it, but still - this is a huge deal in my life. Who knew? I'm loving it thus far and my plants are still alive after four days!!!!!
Hm, that's all the bullet points I can come up with for now.... but I hope it's not as long between now and our next meeting! Thanks for keeping up with my life!
Waiting doesn't get easier as you go....
Thoughts of wedding gowns, venues, married life, engagement rings, and oh so many other wedding related thoughts have been filling my mind these days. As a single girl I thought waiting for the love of my life to come around was difficult. As a girl who is in love with him, waiting for that blissful day to come is so much more difficult.
I cannot express to you the longing I have to be his and for him to be mine. The longing grows with each day that passes.
Our longing for the coming of the Lord should be the same way. Each day that passes should grow our love for Him and our desire to be His for all eternity. Each day should contain a growing of affection for Him that deteriorates our affection for even the most precious worldly things.
I praise God for the gift of a man whom I am so in love with, but I praise Him more for the love of the One who will never fade or pass away. All the sweet gifts here and now are only a small taste of the divine richness of who He is.
I understand more what Romans 8:22-25 is talking about.
May we long for our precious Savior more than all else in this world and may we patiently wait with hope for that day when He returns.
I cannot express to you the longing I have to be his and for him to be mine. The longing grows with each day that passes.
Our longing for the coming of the Lord should be the same way. Each day that passes should grow our love for Him and our desire to be His for all eternity. Each day should contain a growing of affection for Him that deteriorates our affection for even the most precious worldly things.
I praise God for the gift of a man whom I am so in love with, but I praise Him more for the love of the One who will never fade or pass away. All the sweet gifts here and now are only a small taste of the divine richness of who He is.
I understand more what Romans 8:22-25 is talking about.
May we long for our precious Savior more than all else in this world and may we patiently wait with hope for that day when He returns.
7.3.09
I keep coming back to this song....
I first fell in love with song in East Asia when the trip was hard. God just kept revealing that the ups and downs of following Him were worth it. I'm thinking about it a lot now too. It's all worth it. So worth it. What an amazing King we serve who is worth sustaining and sacrificing all things for.
Kendall Payne
Ups and Downs
All that I've found through the ups and downs
Is that I'd have it no other way
Life in the raw is both fragile and strong
It's both lovely and ugly the same
Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside
So let it go, for we are still far from home
Though you try and try to escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe
We are composed of a symphony of notes
Every life is as music to His ears
I'll play my melody be it haunting be it sweet
Unashamed of what anyone might hear
So when the load breaks your back and your will
You must still keep your heart in the game
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe
So let it go, when it don't feel like home
When inside is your only escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
Would you want it any other way?
Kendall Payne
Ups and Downs
All that I've found through the ups and downs
Is that I'd have it no other way
Life in the raw is both fragile and strong
It's both lovely and ugly the same
Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside
So let it go, for we are still far from home
Though you try and try to escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe
We are composed of a symphony of notes
Every life is as music to His ears
I'll play my melody be it haunting be it sweet
Unashamed of what anyone might hear
So when the load breaks your back and your will
You must still keep your heart in the game
To live and to love will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe
So let it go, when it don't feel like home
When inside is your only escape
To live and to love will always be dangerous
Would you want it any other way?
23.2.09
It's been a long, long time....
I really don't know what to write about, but I just felt like I should post something.
I sure don't want you faithful readers to be disappointed though if I post something with no substance, so I must think of something good.
I've got nothing of substance. Honestly.
I could tell you about my dreams last night, or how I'm teaching a class as we speak, or about what I had for lunch (Yarpa dolma!!!!) - but none of those things are really exciting unless you know how fabulous yarpa dolma is.
Sorry guys. You're just out of luck.
I sure don't want you faithful readers to be disappointed though if I post something with no substance, so I must think of something good.
I've got nothing of substance. Honestly.
I could tell you about my dreams last night, or how I'm teaching a class as we speak, or about what I had for lunch (Yarpa dolma!!!!) - but none of those things are really exciting unless you know how fabulous yarpa dolma is.
Sorry guys. You're just out of luck.
13.12.08
It's true...
Lately, I have really been moved by undeserved kindness. It's just incredible the love that God has poured out for us through sending His Son to the Cross to die for our sins. It's also incredible to watch the outpouring of that through the people around me.
I am amazed when I live real, mucky, true, grungy, and honest life-on-life with people. They see my sin and they still choose to love me. I'm not sure if there is a better depiction of the unconditional love of God and of grace and mercy than this. This semester has been definitely been one of "real" life. It's been a semester of the yuck just oozing out of me, but in that process I have seen more the beauty of the Cross and the beauty of Him displayed through those around me who keep on loving, assuring, comforting, forgiving, and walking with me through it. Thank you to so many this semester and throughout my entire life who have shown me the love of Christ in the way you interact with me.
I have been moved by the small things people do to show me their love and concern. The selflessness that has been displayed when I am upset, the laying down of their lives to consider mine, and the minute acts of kindness they do to display their love for me (they can because of Jesus's love for them). On a daily basis I am preached the Gospel through the actions and kindness of those who surround me.
I am undeserving. I am a filthy, adulterous, loathsome, and despicable beggar. I am a created being who spurns my Creator daily. I spit in the face of the One who shows ultimate kindness to me. I run away, I cheat on Him with other lovers, and I choose lesser loves so easily. And most of the time, I don't even consider how my actions sting Him.
Yet, despite all of this He shows me incredible kindness. I am so moved by the kindness of my King and how He keeps giving me good things I don't deserve and not giving me the terrible things I deserve. Thank you to those of you who have been evidences of this in my life. You have moved me to greater worship of our Creator and I couldn't be more thankful for you.
I am amazed when I live real, mucky, true, grungy, and honest life-on-life with people. They see my sin and they still choose to love me. I'm not sure if there is a better depiction of the unconditional love of God and of grace and mercy than this. This semester has been definitely been one of "real" life. It's been a semester of the yuck just oozing out of me, but in that process I have seen more the beauty of the Cross and the beauty of Him displayed through those around me who keep on loving, assuring, comforting, forgiving, and walking with me through it. Thank you to so many this semester and throughout my entire life who have shown me the love of Christ in the way you interact with me.
I have been moved by the small things people do to show me their love and concern. The selflessness that has been displayed when I am upset, the laying down of their lives to consider mine, and the minute acts of kindness they do to display their love for me (they can because of Jesus's love for them). On a daily basis I am preached the Gospel through the actions and kindness of those who surround me.
I am undeserving. I am a filthy, adulterous, loathsome, and despicable beggar. I am a created being who spurns my Creator daily. I spit in the face of the One who shows ultimate kindness to me. I run away, I cheat on Him with other lovers, and I choose lesser loves so easily. And most of the time, I don't even consider how my actions sting Him.
Yet, despite all of this He shows me incredible kindness. I am so moved by the kindness of my King and how He keeps giving me good things I don't deserve and not giving me the terrible things I deserve. Thank you to those of you who have been evidences of this in my life. You have moved me to greater worship of our Creator and I couldn't be more thankful for you.
10.12.08
Proverbs 24:10
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small"
Only a few days left, no fainting allowed. (That was a pep talk for myself and for you if you need it).
Only a few days left, no fainting allowed. (That was a pep talk for myself and for you if you need it).
4.12.08
It's been awhile....
I haven't utilized this blog in a while and think it is probably time. I keep typing sentences and then deleting them. Yep. That one is staying. Moving on. Let me just tell you some Truth.
God truly is sovereign, compassionate, and good. I think that's been a theme of the semester for me. He knows what He is doing and He withholds nothing good from us. Our mighty King. An unchanging Rock. That's my King. Though everything in our lives can change in a split second, He remains constant and He remains in control.
I love seeing His sovereignty, compassion, and goodness in my life.... but I think I almost love seeing it more in the lives of the people around me. I love seeing that He is taking care of them, come what may. I love how He is the orchestrator of all things. He can take care of so many people, all at once, and have what is best for Himself and them in mind all the time.
Seasons in life are an interesting concept. All seasons come to a close eventually and though you may mourn the loss of a season, God has another season right around the corner waiting for you. He knows the season that you need and will withhold nothing good.
That's my King.
He is the One I praise as the giver of all good things and He is One I praise when things are taken away, because our sovereign, compassionate, and good God knows best.
That's my King!
God truly is sovereign, compassionate, and good. I think that's been a theme of the semester for me. He knows what He is doing and He withholds nothing good from us. Our mighty King. An unchanging Rock. That's my King. Though everything in our lives can change in a split second, He remains constant and He remains in control.
I love seeing His sovereignty, compassion, and goodness in my life.... but I think I almost love seeing it more in the lives of the people around me. I love seeing that He is taking care of them, come what may. I love how He is the orchestrator of all things. He can take care of so many people, all at once, and have what is best for Himself and them in mind all the time.
Seasons in life are an interesting concept. All seasons come to a close eventually and though you may mourn the loss of a season, God has another season right around the corner waiting for you. He knows the season that you need and will withhold nothing good.
That's my King.
He is the One I praise as the giver of all good things and He is One I praise when things are taken away, because our sovereign, compassionate, and good God knows best.
That's my King!
16.11.08
What a day!
That's all I can say thus far. But November 15th has turned out to be QUITE the memorable day.....
2.11.08
New blog post....
Like the title? It tells you something you didn't know, eh? :-D
Something new* that I love about Jesus.
His hospitality. The sermon at Church this morning was about hospitality. The pastor talked a lot about a lot of the different aspects of hospitality throughout the Bible, but the point that struck me the most was when he talked about Luke 14.
"Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
He just talked about the importance of being hospitable to those who cannot repay us because that is exactly what Jesus did for us. We were poor, crippled, lame, and blind and He walked up to us, healed us, and then shared all He had with us. Jesus shared his life with us. He died on the Cross for us, poor and wretched though we were. We had no way to repay Him and He knew that. He died for us anyway. May we show that portrait of grace to all who are around us, especially those who cannot repay.
Oh Precious Lord, thank You so much for sharing Your life with us. You left the comfort of Heaven to come down and rescue poor and wretched sinners like myself. You knew we could never repay You, yet You chose to sacrifice all You had for us anyway. I am so moved by Your sacrifice and pray that You move others in the same way. Lord, may we as a body paint this portrait of grace to all those around us. May others be moved by Your hospitality through our actions.
*new- meaning something new to me about Jesus. Jesus was before the beginning of time and is unchanging, yet every day I discover new* things about Him.
Something new* that I love about Jesus.
His hospitality. The sermon at Church this morning was about hospitality. The pastor talked a lot about a lot of the different aspects of hospitality throughout the Bible, but the point that struck me the most was when he talked about Luke 14.
"Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
He just talked about the importance of being hospitable to those who cannot repay us because that is exactly what Jesus did for us. We were poor, crippled, lame, and blind and He walked up to us, healed us, and then shared all He had with us. Jesus shared his life with us. He died on the Cross for us, poor and wretched though we were. We had no way to repay Him and He knew that. He died for us anyway. May we show that portrait of grace to all who are around us, especially those who cannot repay.
Oh Precious Lord, thank You so much for sharing Your life with us. You left the comfort of Heaven to come down and rescue poor and wretched sinners like myself. You knew we could never repay You, yet You chose to sacrifice all You had for us anyway. I am so moved by Your sacrifice and pray that You move others in the same way. Lord, may we as a body paint this portrait of grace to all those around us. May others be moved by Your hospitality through our actions.
*new- meaning something new to me about Jesus. Jesus was before the beginning of time and is unchanging, yet every day I discover new* things about Him.
26.10.08
The Cross
So, lately I started a new journal of things that I love about the Cross and this is the latest entry. I hope it brings you as much joy as it does me!
"Jesus is the One to whom we cling past, present, and future.
When our past sins threaten to encompass us and to freeze us with guilt it is to His Cross we can run, hold on for dear life, lift up our feet, and truly leave those old sins on the ground where they can no longer touch us. Due to the Cross, they no longer have any hold over us. They are not our master and cannot hold us any longer.
Also, our present inadequacies hold no sway over us. The fact that we cannot be successful in any endeavor on our own is completely fine. It is no cause for shame, but rather boasting. There is no shame in having to thrust oneself upon the old rugged tree. It is in His strength alone that we can accomplish anything and we must abandon ourselves to that.
We also are not in control of the future. Our grapplings to understand or control what is ahead are completely inadequate. We hold no sway over what is to come. When the anxieties of that threaten to overwhelm us to the Cross we can cling. We can hold fast to the Truth that death and satan were conquered and now God has good plans for us.
I wrap my whole being around the solid rock that is the Cross. To allow myself to focus on anything else is to be overcome with anxiety. With reckless abandon I hold onto the One who has purchased all good things for me.
The inadequacies of the past, my incompetence to handle the present, and my inability to control the future all haunt me until on that hallowed ground I am able to surrender."
"Jesus is the One to whom we cling past, present, and future.
When our past sins threaten to encompass us and to freeze us with guilt it is to His Cross we can run, hold on for dear life, lift up our feet, and truly leave those old sins on the ground where they can no longer touch us. Due to the Cross, they no longer have any hold over us. They are not our master and cannot hold us any longer.
Also, our present inadequacies hold no sway over us. The fact that we cannot be successful in any endeavor on our own is completely fine. It is no cause for shame, but rather boasting. There is no shame in having to thrust oneself upon the old rugged tree. It is in His strength alone that we can accomplish anything and we must abandon ourselves to that.
We also are not in control of the future. Our grapplings to understand or control what is ahead are completely inadequate. We hold no sway over what is to come. When the anxieties of that threaten to overwhelm us to the Cross we can cling. We can hold fast to the Truth that death and satan were conquered and now God has good plans for us.
I wrap my whole being around the solid rock that is the Cross. To allow myself to focus on anything else is to be overcome with anxiety. With reckless abandon I hold onto the One who has purchased all good things for me.
The inadequacies of the past, my incompetence to handle the present, and my inability to control the future all haunt me until on that hallowed ground I am able to surrender."
13.10.08
Death.
Seriously. What's the deal? SO many people that my friends and I are close to have passed away lately. Geesh.
All I can think of now is that death makes eternity so much more real.
Keep fighting because the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed in us when Jesus returns.
And He will return.
Please be on His side.
All I can think of now is that death makes eternity so much more real.
Keep fighting because the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed in us when Jesus returns.
And He will return.
Please be on His side.
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